The party turned out to be a blast. While not all Everybody-Under-the-Sun came, quite a few people did, including several surprises. All in all, probably 250-300 people passed through Broadway's place through the course of the night. The last folks didn't leave until almost 5am, by which point, I was already obliviously passed out in bed.
In general, I go up and down in how I feel about Broadway. Lately, there have been much more ups than downs, but earlier this summer the downs were getting rather oppressive. This past weekend, there were definitely more ups, and I seem to feel more strongly about Broadway each and every day.
As much as I don't like how Broadway tries so hard to defy the mainstream, cynically refusing to do things like go to Starbucks, he does love me in his own way. It's funny how when you've dated someone for a few months, you can predict how s/he will react to a certain situation without ever being able to actually articulate the behavior trend.
Broadway only does things that fit within his inexplicable boundaries for allowable actions, but somehow finds his own ways within that repertoire to show me that he loves me in cute little ways. And every once in a while (and so far literally only once), he will even venture outside of that bubble, like when he got us tickets to see Wicked, despite his general hatred for all things Broadway, all things showtunes, and all non-hip-hop music.
Granted, it took him over a month to even get the tickets, but in the end, he set aside all of his personal biases and got us the tickets for my birthday because it was something that I had always wanted to see. I've sort of accepted that no one will be perfect, and I've also been questioning less and less whether or not I can be with Broadway longer-term.
Also, in case it wasn't clear, Broadway is extremely particular.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
party, party, party
Broadway and his roommates have a gorgeous place, a heaven for party-planners/throwers. They've lived together now for three years, and have had a bit of a reputation for throwing nice parties. When I started dating Broadway, my party-planning inner child almost immediately began scheming for how I could get in on some party-throwing action.
That chance came tonight. It's been a while since their last party, and my birthday is this Sunday, so together we're throwing a party. I would pitch in for th eparty costs and in return, be able to invite my friends.
Proud to show off a beautiful place as if it were my own, I invited everybody under the sun. Except the assholes. The assholes got an excel list of their own and were all deliberately excluded.
One side-effect of inviting everybody under the sun is that it loses some semblance of intimacy, not to mention that everybody under the sun ranges from good good friends to fringe acquaintanes. For example, I also invited Fringe Acquaintance's ex-wife. Fringe has said that he was coming for sure (despite having an early morning flight tomorrow), but who knows about ex-wife? And should I feel guilty for having invited the both of them? (Not purposefully to create awkward situations, but both being fringe friends, they both appeared on the party invite list of "Everybody Under the Sun")
There were some 350 Everybody-Under-the-Sun's, and since it's not a formal enough party to ask for RSVPs, I actually have no idea how many would come. All 350 would clearly be ridiculous: Broadway has a big place, but not THAT big. 50 would be altogether too disappointing. I would think I had better friends than that.
About 30 people have written back to my email invite, with the great majority of them along the lines of "So sorry I won't be able to come! I'm going out of town this weekend!"
Then there were the others who said "Sorry, my other friend's having a party!"
Is your other friend also having a birthday? No, I didn't think so. Strike 1.
Anyways, I'm hoping that of the others who have not written back, most are planning to show up. I tell myself, only half-jokingly, that this will be a good indicator of whom my real friends are :)
That chance came tonight. It's been a while since their last party, and my birthday is this Sunday, so together we're throwing a party. I would pitch in for th eparty costs and in return, be able to invite my friends.
Proud to show off a beautiful place as if it were my own, I invited everybody under the sun. Except the assholes. The assholes got an excel list of their own and were all deliberately excluded.
One side-effect of inviting everybody under the sun is that it loses some semblance of intimacy, not to mention that everybody under the sun ranges from good good friends to fringe acquaintanes. For example, I also invited Fringe Acquaintance's ex-wife. Fringe has said that he was coming for sure (despite having an early morning flight tomorrow), but who knows about ex-wife? And should I feel guilty for having invited the both of them? (Not purposefully to create awkward situations, but both being fringe friends, they both appeared on the party invite list of "Everybody Under the Sun")
There were some 350 Everybody-Under-the-Sun's, and since it's not a formal enough party to ask for RSVPs, I actually have no idea how many would come. All 350 would clearly be ridiculous: Broadway has a big place, but not THAT big. 50 would be altogether too disappointing. I would think I had better friends than that.
About 30 people have written back to my email invite, with the great majority of them along the lines of "So sorry I won't be able to come! I'm going out of town this weekend!"
Then there were the others who said "Sorry, my other friend's having a party!"
Is your other friend also having a birthday? No, I didn't think so. Strike 1.
Anyways, I'm hoping that of the others who have not written back, most are planning to show up. I tell myself, only half-jokingly, that this will be a good indicator of whom my real friends are :)
Thursday, October 25, 2007
what to make of this?
An acquaintance texted me early in the afternoon:
"I'm thinking about walking by where you are. Wanna take a break from work?"
I kindly declined, making up an excuse that I had to get some work done before a 3pm meeting. The truth was, I wasn't comfortable going to hang out with him.
This guy has always been an fringe acquaintance. By chance at a mutual friend's BBQ one day, he found out that I also play frisbee. Since both of our day schedules are fairly flexible, he mentioned that he'd call me sometime to take a work break and throw some discs while the weather's still nice.
Sounded good to me. I'm always up for throwing.
Except when we did get together to throw about a week later, he mentioned that he just moved to a new place and that I should come over to see it, and "maybe we can get a drink sometime." I played dumb and suggested he throw a housewarming party and that I would come for sure to help celebrate.
Of course the thought crossed my mind that he meant more than just wanting to show his place to a friend, but then it seemed so unlikely that he would have any other intentions given that I thought it was fairly common knowledge that I have a boyfriend. Though being a fringe acquaintance, he may have never picked up on that.
I'm not sure how many more times I can come up with an excuse as to why I can't hang out. I definitely don't want to go have drinks with him...
Then again, he is very recently divorced (or separated, I'm not sure if the paperwork's official yet), so perhaps he really is just lonely and wants someone to hang out with.
"I'm thinking about walking by where you are. Wanna take a break from work?"
I kindly declined, making up an excuse that I had to get some work done before a 3pm meeting. The truth was, I wasn't comfortable going to hang out with him.
This guy has always been an fringe acquaintance. By chance at a mutual friend's BBQ one day, he found out that I also play frisbee. Since both of our day schedules are fairly flexible, he mentioned that he'd call me sometime to take a work break and throw some discs while the weather's still nice.
Sounded good to me. I'm always up for throwing.
Except when we did get together to throw about a week later, he mentioned that he just moved to a new place and that I should come over to see it, and "maybe we can get a drink sometime." I played dumb and suggested he throw a housewarming party and that I would come for sure to help celebrate.
Of course the thought crossed my mind that he meant more than just wanting to show his place to a friend, but then it seemed so unlikely that he would have any other intentions given that I thought it was fairly common knowledge that I have a boyfriend. Though being a fringe acquaintance, he may have never picked up on that.
I'm not sure how many more times I can come up with an excuse as to why I can't hang out. I definitely don't want to go have drinks with him...
Then again, he is very recently divorced (or separated, I'm not sure if the paperwork's official yet), so perhaps he really is just lonely and wants someone to hang out with.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
today's snippets
My presentation Monday went really well. Part of the presentation was my pitching a brand new idea, and since my boss had very little time to look over my slides and give me feedback, I was really worried about getting grilled by him and everyone else. I lead a small project, and this was my one-year progress report to several fringe senior folks who fund the project. Over the last year though, the project hasn't really been going the way that I want it to, so I pitched a new idea to the very top-level people on Monday to see if they would agree with a change in direction.
They were open-minded, which was great! But they wanted to keep talking about the idea for a few weeks (months) before really going forward with it sometime next Spring. I would have wanted to start earlier, but I suppose I do have my hands pretty full right now.
In other news, I'm starting to get sick of my frisbee team. I play on two: one coed, and one all women. The coed one is incredibly fun, and we sort of just play for the sake of playing. The tournament this past weekend was with this team.
The all-women's team on the other hand, is starting to seriously get on my nerves. It is a much bigger commitment: we have 2.5-hour practices 2-3 times a week, and practice is just torture. I can't explain it, but I just feel like practices are complete wastes of my time. Not to brag, but I think I'm in better physical condition than most of the girls on the team, and I'm in general much faster. So doing drills are just silly for me when I'm consistently beating the girl covering me, though I do have to admit that the practices have helped my defensive game.
In general my philosophy is just so different from these women. They are very hard-core and want to play hard-core ultimate. I really have no interest in that. I love the game, and I love playing, but I like it in a laid-back way. I'll play it as long as it remains fun for me, and these practices just aren't fun.
So anyway, after practice yesterday, I was asking myself why I keep going if I dislike it so much? I'm at a point beyond where I need to learn self-control and do things even though I hate doing them ... so why bother?
But if I quit, I will feel like such a quitter. Ugh. Such is the dilemma. I'll probably stick with it for a bit longer. The weather's getting colder by the minute as well, so we won't be practicing for much longer.
They were open-minded, which was great! But they wanted to keep talking about the idea for a few weeks (months) before really going forward with it sometime next Spring. I would have wanted to start earlier, but I suppose I do have my hands pretty full right now.
In other news, I'm starting to get sick of my frisbee team. I play on two: one coed, and one all women. The coed one is incredibly fun, and we sort of just play for the sake of playing. The tournament this past weekend was with this team.
The all-women's team on the other hand, is starting to seriously get on my nerves. It is a much bigger commitment: we have 2.5-hour practices 2-3 times a week, and practice is just torture. I can't explain it, but I just feel like practices are complete wastes of my time. Not to brag, but I think I'm in better physical condition than most of the girls on the team, and I'm in general much faster. So doing drills are just silly for me when I'm consistently beating the girl covering me, though I do have to admit that the practices have helped my defensive game.
In general my philosophy is just so different from these women. They are very hard-core and want to play hard-core ultimate. I really have no interest in that. I love the game, and I love playing, but I like it in a laid-back way. I'll play it as long as it remains fun for me, and these practices just aren't fun.
So anyway, after practice yesterday, I was asking myself why I keep going if I dislike it so much? I'm at a point beyond where I need to learn self-control and do things even though I hate doing them ... so why bother?
But if I quit, I will feel like such a quitter. Ugh. Such is the dilemma. I'll probably stick with it for a bit longer. The weather's getting colder by the minute as well, so we won't be practicing for much longer.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
I should post more often
I have this problem ... I want to write, and through the course of the day, I often think of funny things or stupid things or perhaps sometimes even insightful things that would be potentially good material for a blog. When I get home though, I inevitably forget or remember and decide that it's not worth the effort to go write on the blog. So this thing sits untouched for weeks on end.
For example, today, I thought of a great many number of things that would be great to document. Except since there are such a great number of them, it wouldn't really be appropriate (nor productive) to sit here for hours on end documenting the many topics that could describe the various aspects of my life today.
Here's a snippet, I suppose:
I have a big work presentation on Monday. I should get the final slides prepared and to my boss to look over, and I should have done this sometime this weekend ... as in today. Except today is 30 minutes from being over, and I only have ~70% of my slides. I NEED to rush these slides tonight before bed so that my boss can critique them (and once again make me feel like an idiot) first thing tomorrow morning.
I am a procrastinator, in case that wasn't made clear in the above paragraph. Not only did I not work on those slides today, I played in a frisbee tournament, went to a three-act comedy show, screwed around on facebook, and now am writing a blog entry.
Three interesting things I found on facebook today:
1) A fellow blogger whom I only knew in cyber-life found me and sent me a message on facebook, which admittedly, is still a part of cyber-life ... but now I feel much more substantively connected to him because of this new facebook connection. I haven't quite decided how I feel about that.
2) I found out about two engagements through facebook relationship status updates. I'm not sure how this reflects on my level of involvement in my actual friends' lives, but I thought it a bit strange that it happened twice on the same day.
3) Speaking of relationships, this guy I screwed around with during college posted some new pictures of him attending a wedding. And there's a girl involved. At first I thought it may have been his sister ... she looked kinda like his sister. But no, their dancing body positions, their gazes into each others' eyes, the kiss on the forehead ... these all point to their not being related in the sibling way.
I shouldn't be phased. After all, we were just screwing around. But back during a low point in my life two years ago, I often daydreamed that this guy would move here to be my prince in shining armor and save me from my spiraling relationship (and probably life) depression. I also wasn't delusional. We at one point seriously talked, over IM, about where his next move would be, and he wanted to try for Big Northern City here. No, I wasn't delusional. I promise. Though one advantage of IM is that it is physical documentation that would probably hold up in court if I demanded emotional compensation now that he is dating someone and no longer remembers wanting to move here to be with me.
On the brighter side of things, my frisbee tournament went well. My team won the tournament. My presentation didn't finish itself while I was running around in the grass. Bummer.
Now I should work to finish that presentation, so I don't end up staying up all night. Except I had a couple of glasses of wine at the comedy show, and being slightly tipsy, all I can think about is having sex with my boyfriend. Or really rather any penis for that matter.
For example, today, I thought of a great many number of things that would be great to document. Except since there are such a great number of them, it wouldn't really be appropriate (nor productive) to sit here for hours on end documenting the many topics that could describe the various aspects of my life today.
Here's a snippet, I suppose:
I have a big work presentation on Monday. I should get the final slides prepared and to my boss to look over, and I should have done this sometime this weekend ... as in today. Except today is 30 minutes from being over, and I only have ~70% of my slides. I NEED to rush these slides tonight before bed so that my boss can critique them (and once again make me feel like an idiot) first thing tomorrow morning.
I am a procrastinator, in case that wasn't made clear in the above paragraph. Not only did I not work on those slides today, I played in a frisbee tournament, went to a three-act comedy show, screwed around on facebook, and now am writing a blog entry.
Three interesting things I found on facebook today:
1) A fellow blogger whom I only knew in cyber-life found me and sent me a message on facebook, which admittedly, is still a part of cyber-life ... but now I feel much more substantively connected to him because of this new facebook connection. I haven't quite decided how I feel about that.
2) I found out about two engagements through facebook relationship status updates. I'm not sure how this reflects on my level of involvement in my actual friends' lives, but I thought it a bit strange that it happened twice on the same day.
3) Speaking of relationships, this guy I screwed around with during college posted some new pictures of him attending a wedding. And there's a girl involved. At first I thought it may have been his sister ... she looked kinda like his sister. But no, their dancing body positions, their gazes into each others' eyes, the kiss on the forehead ... these all point to their not being related in the sibling way.
I shouldn't be phased. After all, we were just screwing around. But back during a low point in my life two years ago, I often daydreamed that this guy would move here to be my prince in shining armor and save me from my spiraling relationship (and probably life) depression. I also wasn't delusional. We at one point seriously talked, over IM, about where his next move would be, and he wanted to try for Big Northern City here. No, I wasn't delusional. I promise. Though one advantage of IM is that it is physical documentation that would probably hold up in court if I demanded emotional compensation now that he is dating someone and no longer remembers wanting to move here to be with me.
On the brighter side of things, my frisbee tournament went well. My team won the tournament. My presentation didn't finish itself while I was running around in the grass. Bummer.
Now I should work to finish that presentation, so I don't end up staying up all night. Except I had a couple of glasses of wine at the comedy show, and being slightly tipsy, all I can think about is having sex with my boyfriend. Or really rather any penis for that matter.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
nerdy guys at outdoorsy shops
It's been a while since I've been in an outdoors shop like REI or the local ski shop. Broadway's not really into the outdoors, and he's not so much a gear whore like me either. With the upcoming ski season though, I've been meaning to go check out any leftover stuff from last season to get a new snowboard. So today, I dragged Broadway with me to the local ski shop for their Columbus weekend sale.
I had forgotten how friendly the nerdy gear guys at these places can be. Looking at last season's boards and bindings and boots, a nice cute friendly sales associate came to answer my questions. By this point, Broadway had gotten bored of my pulling board after board out of the display to look at, so he had gone off to look for a new jacket for himself.
Since I was pretty intent on getting board, bindings, and boots today, I talked to the Gear Guy for a while asking lots of questions, etc. etc. After I decided on a board, he fetched some boots I liked in my size to try on, and Broadway came back over around this time. I had wondered if the Gear Guy was in any way flirting with me. He was very professional, never overstepping his bounds as a sales associate in any way, but there were certain things like touching my hand when he handed some boots over to me, or holding on for a bit longer than necessary when he shook my hand and asked me my name ...
Now Broadway knows that I have a soft spot for these gear guys, so maybe because of this, when he came to see how I was doing and saw that I was spending so much time with this Gear Guy, he gave me a kiss on the side of my face before leaving to go back to looking at jackets. I chuckled that that Broadway would discreetly stake his claim on me in front of the Gear Guy, and then satisfied with what he had done, would walk away again without a care.
I had forgotten how friendly the nerdy gear guys at these places can be. Looking at last season's boards and bindings and boots, a nice cute friendly sales associate came to answer my questions. By this point, Broadway had gotten bored of my pulling board after board out of the display to look at, so he had gone off to look for a new jacket for himself.
Since I was pretty intent on getting board, bindings, and boots today, I talked to the Gear Guy for a while asking lots of questions, etc. etc. After I decided on a board, he fetched some boots I liked in my size to try on, and Broadway came back over around this time. I had wondered if the Gear Guy was in any way flirting with me. He was very professional, never overstepping his bounds as a sales associate in any way, but there were certain things like touching my hand when he handed some boots over to me, or holding on for a bit longer than necessary when he shook my hand and asked me my name ...
Now Broadway knows that I have a soft spot for these gear guys, so maybe because of this, when he came to see how I was doing and saw that I was spending so much time with this Gear Guy, he gave me a kiss on the side of my face before leaving to go back to looking at jackets. I chuckled that that Broadway would discreetly stake his claim on me in front of the Gear Guy, and then satisfied with what he had done, would walk away again without a care.
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