Dunning-Kruger

As you all know, HB moved back to Chicago about a month ago (has it really only been a month?). He quickly got a new US phone on the Verizon network and sent me a text within minutes of activating it.

"This message is free since we both have verizon :)"

I replied with a question: "Are texts free between verizon phones too?"

He replied, "Yes! Free texts!"

He'd just gotten his phone and calling plan information from the Verizon store, so who am I to argue? I did bring it up in a later conversation over the phone, adding that I knew in-network calling to be free but was unsure about text. He assured me again that texts were in fact also free between Verizon phones. Wow, sweet!

So HB and I texted each other like maniacs through the month of December in our very complicated undefined non-relationship. I felt a tinge of guilt because Special Friend and I text a lot too, maybe even more than HB and I. But no matter. SF is also on Verizon! Free texts to the world!

Today, Verizon sent me an automated text warning that I am nearing my usage limit. Logging into my account, I see that I have actually already exceeded my SMS limit for the month. Curious, I downloaded the detailed usage data into excel to see who my best texting friends are:

#1: Special Friend

#2: HB

#3: Jabba

#4: Frisbee Buddy

What?? Special Friend and HB top the list? I thought Verizon-to-Verizon texts were free? Why are their texts counting toward my usage limit?

Right around this time, Token Male Friend IMed me on his daily boredom-relieving mission. I started to tell him the story and only got as far as "I thought texts were free between Verizon phones" before he interrupted me to ask, "Who told you that?"

I answered, "HB."

I felt like an idiot as soon as I said it. Token Male Friend's response said it all: he laughed in all caps over IM.

His point? HB is highly un-tech-savvy. I should have known from the start that HB's information regarding anything technology-related would be suspect. TMF called me a silly girl.

Then I got mad. I got inexplicably mad at HB, but I couldn't verbalize why I was so mad. Was it because of the confident and flippant way HB assured me his information was correct? Or because of my own lapse in judgment for believing him? Or because this made me realize that if HB and I were together, I wouldn't ever really be able to count on him?

Finally, I was able to delineate to TMF my reasons for wanting to throw things:

1) HB's general confusion about the world. He is just not on top of things, and he doesn't know how things work.

2) His confidence regarding how much he knows about the world around him, despite actually being quite confused.

3) His utter ignorance that he is confused. His utter ignorance that he and does not, in fact, fully understand a situation.

Case in point: Verizon text messages. Such a small, seemingly trivial thing, yet so representative of his general approach to life: a naive arrogance.

I can't even complain that his confidence is false. It's real confidence because he truly believes that he knows the answers. He's not overtly arrogant - he doesn't flaunt his intelligence or knowledge. But he fundamentally does not realize that HIS KNOWLEDGE IS WRONG or even may be lacking.

And that frustrates me to the point that I want to throw things. I am finally able to pinpoint the precise reason I never could lean on him even when we were together. I distrust his analytical and problem-solving process. I question every assertion that he makes.

I think this pretty much settles whether or not HB and I could ever get back together in a serious way. I would want to throw things everyday in our life together.

I would still jump the man at a heartbeat, though.