And the neurosis sets in

College Ed dated his ex for six years, which was, verbatim from his mouth, "probably four years too long." Then, as if he regretted the implications of what he had just said, he added, "But don't get me wrong, that's not to say she isn't fantastic."

Present tense: is fantastic.

A couple of months ago, before anything between us ever happened, College Ed went out to interview for summer internships in San Francisco and took an extra day to enjoy the city. While chatting with him about this at the bar the night before he was to leave, I asked if he had anything in mind that he wanted to do on his extra day.

He said no, but then added, "Well, I am going to have lunch with my ex-girlfriend." I gave him a quizzical look, not sure of how to respond, and so I asked, "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"Well, she wants us to get married..."

And I pushed a bit more, "And how do you feel about that?"

He replied, "Yeeaah... no."

At the time, I didn't know which ex this was. I knew that he dated a girl we both knew in college, and that they'd continued dating after college, but I didn't know for how long nor if he has had other girlfriends (and thus ex-gfs) in the seven years since college.

The new information of his college relationship lasting 6 year (!!!) came during our conversation about timing, along with the fact that he has now been single for 2.5 years.

So, his ex-girlfriend of six years lives in San Francisco. He thinks she is a fantastic girl. She is still in love with him and wants them to get married.

Could all this talk of timing be because his lunch with her a couple of months back went really well, and he wants to keep his options open for a summer out in San Francisco rekindling things with her? He wouldn't need to invest any additional time and energy - he presumably knows her deeply well after six years together. And she is perfectly positioned geographically, being in the city already where he ultimately wants to end up.

And this was the point when I got neurotic. I googled her, looked her up on LinkedIn, stalked her on facebook (for once, I'm actually friends with someone that I want to stalk)...

And I found out that she and College Ed became facebook friends in February of this year. I know that at one point a few years ago, they were listed as being in a relationship with each other on facebook. So this means that their breakup was bad enough to have warranted a de-friending at some point. And now, 2.5 years later, they've had enough time to heal and decided to re-friend each other on facebook.

2.5 years is enough time to heal, but is it also enough time to have realized that perhaps there really isn't anyone else out there with whom they'd rather be?

And what better time to answer that question than a two-month revisit of old times while both in good ol' San Francisco?

I know I am being neurotic and making up stories. But the more I think about it, the more sense it makes to me, and the more I am convinced that this is exactly College Ed's thought process when he told me that the timing for us is just horrible. And also his thought process when he asked me why we didn't try this six months ago.

Six months ago, he still wasn't facebook friends with the ex, let alone talking to her, having lunch with her, and considering getting back together with her.

Nevermind that I have nothing to base any of this off of. But don't they always say that the gut feeling of a jilted lover is oftentimes the most insightfully correct?