a few steps forward

RC and I had a wonderful time together this past weekend, and I think that I may actually be somewhat falling for him. As I sit here working on my thesis proposal, all I can think about is him and how I wish I were spending time with him instead. I haven't felt like that in a long time. With Mr. C, all I could think about was how I was content having dinner with him once a week and how I never wanted to spend more time with him. I thought I changed to a low-maintenance girl to have around; one of those who doesn't mind only seeing her guy once a week. But no, it was just the wrong guy.

We got pretty personal this weekend, having multiple conversations about very private topics. Some of the stuff he told me were very unexpected and puts a whole different spin on things. He had told me before that he was in a very bad car accident about five years ago, and had some spinal cord damage as a result of that. That accident left some very permanent handicaps that aren't obvious/visible to the casual bystander, but that which affects his every day life, and subsequently those close to him in nlife.

After he told me, he asked if the information changes how I feel. I wasn't sure what to say. To say that it makes no difference would be a naive lie, but just how much difference it makes, I don't even know myself. I feel like it's stuff that is, while non-trivial, on the whole something I could live with. But how much of that is my trying to convince myself that I can live with it because I really dig him?

I feel like RC and I moved quite a few steps forward toward a committed relationship with each other. Just Friday, the idea of a boyfriend was appalling to me. After this weekend, I am not so opposed to the idea.