Willow called me tonight. I was in bed already, but instinctively at the sound of my ring, I jumped out to see who was calling me. I ended up screening his call and going back to bed. Usually I love getting phone calls, and I'll talk to people, even numbers I don't recognize, but tonight I was fed up with Willow.
We haven't talked for a long time, which is a bit strange given all the interactions we had at the beginning of January. The deterioration of communication really began because I no longer had three hours on end every single evening to sit in front of the computer and chat with him. Then, after a few days of this, I decided that I actually don't WANT TO sit in front of the computer and chat with him three hours each night. Furthermore, the fact that he continually has three hours each night to sit in front of the computer is reason perhaps that I should be wary. I know it's different to be working versus in school; there's not much else to do after work. But aren't there projects he wants to work on? TV he wants to watch? Or friends he wants to hang out with?
It's a bit problematic I think, when consistently, he has nothing better to do than to sit in front of his computer and chat with me for 3+ hours.
So anyway, I screened his call because I didn't want to talk to him. I have actually lost all desire to talk to him; seeing him or interacting with him is a burden right now. Not because he's not a nice person, but because I feel like his interacting with me is laden with something more than friendship, and I have nothing for him except friendship. So thinking about interacting with him is a mental block for me. I just feel a heavy weight on my shoulders.
I have to admit, though, that he is nice, and he is sweet. He called me the night before my presentation-from-hell just to say hi and to wish me luck. He would probably make a really good boyfriend, treat me in every way I would want to be treated. But in the end, I just don't feel attraction. Not to mention not wanting to get into a whole long-distance thing. That's just ridiculous. He also needs to realize how ridiculous that would be and move on and find girls down where he is.
Or maybe it really is as the saying goes: nice guys finish last. His niceness and sweetness lacks spunk, and I get bored easily.
2 comments:
Isnt it scary how ur feelings can be so strong in the moment and then just a few weeks later, you are thinking "what was I thinking" arghhh I hate that.
Is there a reason he chose to IM with you every night instead of calling? It is sad about nice guys, but I'd have to agree that all that computer time is kind of pathetic. Maybe he's multi-tasking and you just don't know it? ;)
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