did I force this date?

The TA has become Gchat Boy. Kinda like Email Boy, with all of the associated frustrations, but just with gchat instead of email. A mutual friend had a birthday dinner tonight; both of us were invited, but I couldn't go because of a conference happening tonight and tomorrow, but I said I would join up with them after dinner.

I busted my butt to meet up with the group after their dinner, but Gchat Boy wasn't even there; he had gone home. I didn't stay long, either (why bother? I said happy birthday already). I went home, and found Gchat Boy pop up as a little green dot in my google contacts .

Taking initiative, I message him. He told me that his roommate bought a new video game. I asked him why he wasn't playing, and he said that he wasn't feeling the nerdiness right then (I've been teasing him about his nerdiness). Going out on a limb, I told him that I was disappointed that he didn't join the crew after dinner, to which he answered:

yeah sorry about that.. didn't know u were coming12:56 AM here lemme help out with that in future...

my phone number is...

6xx xx xxxxx

If he could have seen my face through the computer screen, he would have seen a confused/dejected/frustrated/what-just-happened look.

Why didn't he ask ME for MY phone number? I don't think I'm asking too much when I say that I think he should ask me for my number. Am I dealing once again with a lukewarm Email Boy who's actually not interested enough to take initiative, but will reciprocate if prodded? Or is GchatBoy really just THAT clueless about dating?

I begrudgingly offered up my phone number; he still didn't ask.

We later had another awkward exchange where I may or may not have been too feisty. Gchat Boy mentioned that his roommate wanted him to go play the video game. So I asked him if he wanted to go, and he gave me a wishy washy answer about there being an internal nerd battle in his head. He made a sarcastic comment that the nerd factor is a big hit with the ladies, so I said:

1:58 AM mini: and you're def a nerd for wanting to play video games over talking to a girl ... that's a real hit with the ladies too, i hear :)

He didn't reply for a while, and when he finally did, it was a "sigh", and then a rather awkward exchange before I very quickly changed the subject. Eventually, I think we both had had enough of this awkward conversation, so he said he was going to bed, but asked me if I would be in the office tomorrow. I told him I had that conference all day, so unless I got really motivated right about 5pm when it ends, it's unlikely I will go in. For himself, he mentioned wanting to run a few errands midday, after which he will hole himself up in his office.

And thus, our conversation ended with this:

GchatBoy:

well have a good conference...

maybe i'll catch ya tomorrow night?

2:26 AM mini: where? in the office? :)

2:27 AM GchatBoy: haha, hopefully somewhere cooler

mini: hahaha

2:28 AM will you be around lab past 5? if so, i'll drop by and find ya

2:29 AM GchatBoy: yeah i'll be there no doubt

or we could grab dinner later on somewhere really far from campus?

mini: haha, sounds good

2:32 AM i'll see you tomorrow!

GchatBoy:

night night

mini: night!

So I think that's a date for tomorrow night... but did I coerce that date out of him with this whole conversation? Or perhaps specifically by making him say where I would see him tomorrow night? And why was his question so vague in the first place? "Maybe I'll catch ya tomorrow night?" Was I too presumptuous in asking for a clarification on the location? And why, OH WHY did he ask me over gchat? I feel cheated out of a proper courtship.

I just really have no idea what is going on. I would like to think that he is just ... not assertive, but I can't help feeling that he's in the camp of not wanting to take initiative because it's not worth that much to him, but if he gets to sit back and be the recipient of initiative, he wouldn't refuse. A even bigger part of me feels like this would never work out anyway because he is way too passive for me, in general.

I am glad that at least it's not turning out like Email Boy where our equally passive selves eventually stubborned each other out, and nobody ever asked anybody out on a date.