falling out with mom & dad

Last week, I finally told my mom that RC and I had broken up, which was a big deal for me because I never wanted them to have the satisfaction of knowing that we had broken up. Even way back in December, I shunned the idea of letting my parents in the loop to any breakups that would happen with me and RC. I'm not sure why I decided to finally mention to my mom, but I did, and she started asking questions.

She asked me why we broke up. I've always said that I want our breakup to be free from reasons involving my parents, and making the parents feel like they influenced our relationship is giving them too much power. In the end though, I told my mom that she was the reason that we broke up. Her nosiness and not minding her own business made me so unhappy that I was irritable all the time, and why would he want to be with someone snappy and in a bad mood at all times?

I told her that I was happy and that she ruined my happiness (which may be a bit exaggerated, but true for the most part). She asked me what she can do for me at this point, and I told her that she can't do anything, that she has already ruined everything.

In the end, I told her a lot of the things that I've been meaning to tell her all along, or have tried to tell her all along but that which she has refused to listen because first and foremost on her mind was the fact that I was going to marry a man with a broken back. But she listened now because she was no longer pre-occupied with my still dating RC.

So I told her how much I hated her for butting into this whole thing, how she was entitled to her opinion but that in the end it was my choice and that if she disagreed, she's free to mention it, but I am also free to not listen to her. Finally, I told her that she was the cause of my unhappiness, that I was so happy and she just HAD to go f- that up.

A week later, I do my daughterly duty of calling them again, and I talk to my dad this time. He, in a very soothing voice, says to me "So, mom tells me that you and RC are essentially not in a relationship anymore." I confirm that, to which he replies, still very soothingly, "Well, at some point, I'd like to sit down with you and talk about this whole thing."

I flat out rejected that and said that I no longer want to talk about this anymore. He said he's just trying to help, to comfort me and to help me not be sad and upset about the relationship. Bullshit, he wants to tell me why I ultimately made the right choice and comfort me from that angle, which is about the last thing I need right now.

The result of this? I don't tell my parents about my dating life. They don't know anything about any of these men in my life, and until they come up here in June for their annual summer visit, they will continue to not know. And I told my mom that ... that she shouldn't expect to be kept in the loop any more.