this week's conversation with parents

When I called, my dad asked me to guess what he and mom did this weekend. Of course I couldn't guess, so he told me. He and mom drove some large quantity of hours to Cincinnati for the funeral service of one of my dad's college professors. He got a call from the professor's family on Tuesday that the old man had passed last Saturday. When my dad asked about where the services were to be held so he could send some flowers or something, apparently the son wasn't very keen on sharing.

So my dad decided that he would drive to Cincinnati for the funeral service. Not knowing where it would be, he searched the Cincinnati paper's obituaries for the whole past week. So my parents took Friday off from work, drove all day and night, and showed up at the funeral service Saturday morning at 9:30am.

My dad was very proud of himself for having done this, and claimed that the family was appreciative. I asked him if it was awkward for him to show up like that, especially since the service turned out to be for-family-only small. He said no, that the family was very surprise, but also very grateful that he and mom came all this way.

I didn't say anything else because I didn't want to hurt my dad's feelings, but my inclination would be to say that he was intruding on the family's privacy. They didn't want people to know about the service; they didn't want a whole lot of people to attend. They just wanted a chance for a small family gathering to say goodbye to their father/husband who died. But they couldn't exactly turn my parents away at the door of the funeral home, especially since they had already come such a long way. I mean, talk about awkward.

Sometimes my dad just does crazy stuff like this, and he's very proud of how resourceful or cunning he was in procuring information (like going through the obituaries to find where the services are). I don't have the heart to tell him that he's probably going through more trouble than it's worth, and especially not that his troubles are probably not all that meaningful nor appreciated.

I feel like my dad is getting worse as he's getting older, pulling off more and more of these stunts where he inconveniences those he is trying to show appreciation for, and his saintly intentions are only realized by my mom and me. Or perhaps maybe I am just getting older and starting to see my dad's actions in a different light.