first time for everything

I'm ususally on the asking end of references. As in, I'm usually the one asking others to write me references. Today, I was on the asked end.

A friend, nay more of an acquaintance, asked me to write him a peer recommendation for his business school application (why would they want a peer recommendation?) While I was very flattered, I am at a bit of a loss regarding this. I don't know him all that well. I want to be able to be honest and spectacular in any recommendation I write him because I like him, and I think he is a nice guy, but I just don't know him all that well.

One question that I am supposed to answer in my recommendation letter is "How is the candidate's impact on your organization different from that of other well-qualified individuals in similar roles?" We are both a part of a regional board for our college's alumni club, the only organization we've ever been in together, but I am still confused.

I am not all that active of a member. I rarely actually attend board meetings where most of the "working together" and discussions take place, and I haven't directly worked with him on any project. So really, not only do I not know him well as a friend, I hardly know him at all as a colleague. Why wouldn't he have asked the club president to write the recommendation? Or asked a co-worker? Or better yet, a friend from one of his college activities?

Another question I am to answer is "Please describe the most constructive feedback you have given the candidate. Please also detail the circumstance that caused you to give the feedback."

I'm not sure I have ever given this guy any feedback, constructively negative or positive, or not constructive at all. Maybe he remembers a specific instance that he considers most telling about his character, and that is why he is asking me to be his reference.

But honestly, I just don't remember anything. And how would I even go about finding out if this is what he has in mind without making it obvious that I don't remember (need I be discreet?)

Perhaps "Is there any particular experience you want me to mention/talk about in your recommendation?"

He mentioned he had several reasons for asking me, but that those are better explained over the phone (he asked me in an email). So he is supposed to call me soon to explain ... I don't even know if I should say yes or no. Would he be offended if I honestly told him I didn't know enough about him to write him the good recommendation that he deserves?

On a (un)related note about myself, I recently applied for job. I know. I am shocked myself. I didn't think I would ever get myself around to applying for another job.

But, I didn't get the job. I just found out this afternoon.

I didn't even make it to the final "short list" of candidates, which I really thought I would. There were three steps (interview rounds) in the process, and I got cut after the second set of interviews. The frustrating part is that I know where I screwed up, and if I had a second chance at the interview, I am 100% sure it would have gone differently and I wouldn't have screwed up so badly.

You see, I screwed up on the first of my three interviews, right at the very beginning. My phone went off right after the interview started ... my face turned so red, and I was completely frazzled for the rest of the interview. My mind drew complete blanks every step of the way. My answers were long rambles, and I had trouble focusing on what the interviewer was saying. It literally felt like I was watching his mouth move yet not hearing any sounds.

I tried to put that behind me and actually had two fantastic interviews afterwards. But I guess they weren't fantastic enough to counter the extremely bad first one (or maybe the last two really weren't that great). I am just frustrated because it's my own damn fault that my phone went off in the middle of the interview, and I feel that I would have made the cut if I could have been "just average" on the first interview instead of "royal screwup".

Oh well. They can't possibly judge on how well I could have done. They can only judge me on how well I did.

But at least I broke the seal of job searches. Maybe I'll apply for a few more. I just have to find listings for jobs that I think I would want.