We said "i love you" back in July when we first started officially dating, but then I didn't feel it anymore so I stopped. It's been a long time since either one of us has said the l-word.
In his drunken state, HB told me "I fucking love you." We were talking about very unrelated things.
And then some point later in the conversation, he said, "Never fucking doubt how much I love you. Never."
I still think we have a chance together, but not right now. Right now, I need to go out and be unconstrained in this world, no matter how much he loves me. I kinda do hope that whenever I manage to figure my stuff out, HB will still be there for me.
3 comments:
I wanted to thank you for reading my blog and for leaving such a sweet, thoughtful comment. :)
Sort of a blanket comment between this post and the previous one...
I agree that it sounds like you need a bit of time, outside of relationships, to figure out exactly what it is you're looking for. But beyond that, I was reading your posts and I was reminded of something someone asked me to consider once: what do you bring to the relationship? It was a question that made me realize that I had spent an enormous amount of time looking for what I wanted to get out of a relationship, rather than considering what I was putting into it.
As for HB, I would try to remove him from the equation. If you're worried about whether he will or won't be there at the end of your journey, I don't think you'll make the kind of progress you're hoping to make...
GH: I guess right now, I don't bring much except dishonesty to a relationship. Normally, I'd say care, love, intimacy, stability, support, and loyalty ... hasn't been that way for a while
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