this beard issue

GB has had a beard since his freshmen year of college (seven years ago). He shaved it once about a year ago just to test it out, and I've been bugging him to shave it again because I want to see his face (see point #5). I like beards just as much as the next girl over, but I like it for the scruffiness of an outdoorsy type, not for an everyday thing that's been trimmed five times over.

Every once in a while, something triggers my bringing up his beard, and today I asked him if he would ever consider shaving his beard. He asked why, and I answered "so I can see what it's like!" He argued that he shaved it a year ago and hated it.

So I said "Well, I didn't get to see it a year ago when you did shave it."

He replied stubbornly, "well, whose fault is that?"

I joked, "We weren't dating then, so it's your fault for not pursuing me."

This went back and forth, playfully for a while until I suddenly realized that perhaps I was annoying him with my persistent insistence that I'd like to see him clean-shaven. And sure enough, he soon came out full-force with his self-righteous logic:

"Well, it's MY face and MY appearance. You don't get to decide how it looks. I decide. I said that maybe one day, you'll get lucky, and I'll shave my beard, but that's not on YOUR schedule. That's on MY schedule, and you don't get to dictate that. You have no right. You're overstepping your bounds. In fact, you don't even have a right to ask me to do this. That's already overstepping yours bounds."

That really hit me hard. I know that I don't have a right to tell him what to do, but at the same time, I never thought of things as being that clear-cut, nor do I think they should be. In a way, we all surrender some rights by being in a relationship. Some stranger on the street certainly has no right to tell me how to dress, but my boyfriend making a comment about my shirt is gonna get more of my attention.

I feel pretty stuck on this argument (as I do with most arguments with him). I can't argue his logic; of course I have no RIGHT to ask him to shave his beard. He's right: it's not my face; it's his. But I feel like I should have the privilege of asking because I'm more a part of his life than anybody else right now, and he should take my request more seriously instead of dismissing it immediately because no one should have the right to tell him what to do with his beard.

Was I out of line to ask him? Is he right that I have no right to do so? Maybe I should have just dropped it altogether. I dunno.

I feel pretty hurt right now, but I know he feels self-righteous. So once again, I feel like I need to swallow up my hurt and go say "I'm sorry baby, you're right, I don't have a right to ask you to shave your beard. You should be able to wear it however you want." Which is how most of our arguments end, with me apologizing for something that I didn't feel I was out-of-line for.

*sigh* relationships.