It's been a long time since I've noticed other men for more than platonic reasons. Broadway and I had a ton of ups and downs earlier in our relationship. I questioned being with him and compared him with lots of guys around me and wondered why I was with Broadway and not with these other men.
But for the past year, year and a half, we have been so happy and so content. It's not that I haven't met other men whom I've found physically attractive. I have, but I've hardly ever been attracted to their personalities. Now I compare Broadway to these men and thank the lord that I'm with Broadway, that he is real, that he is a good person, that he sees the world the way that he does. There's nothing wrong with these other attractive men, they're nice people, but they are not the kind of people I want to spend the rest of my life with.
For the past week or so though, I've developed a deeper connection with someone. The same things that draw me to Broadway draw me to this guy, and I'm reminded of emotional cheating. Even if you aren't actually cheating physically, the emotional longing still feels wrong. Unlike physical cheating where you can stop yourself, emotional longing doesn't feel as controllable. How do I stop the emotional connection I feel with someone?
This guy knows about Broadway and knows that we are engaged. He says it's the most frustrating unrequited love ever. It's not technically unrequited, just impossible.
1 comment:
Don't beat yourself up too much. The idea that, out of six billion people, there's only ONE with whom you'll click is kinda silly, don't ya think?
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